Ladies and Gents, I'm very pleased to have this guest haikuist (haikuer? Haikuigist?) this week. You know her and you totally do not know her. I'm very proud to share my blog with the wonderful @JanePitt aka PittGirl!
(PittGirls haikus in red)
I heard that PittsburghHas unexpected weather
But this is just nuts.
-Or-
I’m royally screwed
Because I once heard it said,
Pigeons love apples.
PittGirl haikuing?
What should I get for her?
I got it! Apples!
‘dis my sexy pose.I know what you are thinking,
And it rhymes with “nrowr.”
Well hello there
Spiderman isn't afraid
To show hes the sex
Can you stop screaming?It’s not that big of a deal.
So you ate some poop.
-Or-
After you calm down,
And stop your crazy screaming,
I can has carrot?
Scuse me waiter.
first the heart in the sugar
Now this? Delicious.
Do you see like me?
I see life and colors here,
With my eyes and heart.
Its time for the game
Traffic insane for hours
Totally worth it
My stomach just called.
I’m not saying you can’t cook,
But it was screaming.
Digital take out
Why did I get dialup?
It takes forever
When I am with you
I don’t much mind the rain, but
My bum is soggy.
Traffic insane for hours
Totally worth it
My stomach just called.I’m not saying you can’t cook,
But it was screaming.
Digital take out
Why did I get dialup?
It takes forever
When I am with youI don’t much mind the rain, but
My bum is soggy.
This sweet warm rainfall
Isn't sweet or warm at all
But with you, heaven.
A moment of peace.
There are answers to be found.
My bum is soggy.
What the hell happened?
One minute I'm in the barn
and then, Bam! Pow! Sand!
This is the picture
That will prove once and for all
PittGirl Cant haiku
One minute I'm in the barn
and then, Bam! Pow! Sand!
This is the pictureThat will prove once and for all
PittGirl Cant haiku
O I disagree
These PittGirl haiku right here?
Pretty damn awesome.
Your an idiotOf course I'm like Sherlock Holmes
What was your first clue?
Hi Wonder WomanHow's crime fighting working out?
Still being awesome?
Its still in my dreamsI'm puffin on the ashes
Of a hated friend
Hey there SpidermanGet your freak ass off the couch
The city need saved!
-or-
Wanna go outside?
Spidey wanna fight Venom?
Fine. Stay there, that's cool.
Welcome to PittsburghIt kind of sneaks up on you
But its breathtaking
What was I thinking?This was such a bad idea.
Where did my shoes go?
Why yes, this is mine.I keep it my treehole
Now hold the nuts still.
Thats right bitch, Sega.Its gold and belongs to me.
Thats right, be jealous.
Tiny little OrbLittle piece of childhood
Beautiful and thin
O Miss hot and coldI love you. Your not so bad.
Keep my on my toes
That would be your tailThat thing your attacking there?
Yeah kitty, that's just you.
My little islandNo turning back now my friend
Enjoy the beauty
Get off my sky lawn!Where are your dragon parents?
Your so in trouble.
A new year, a new group of haiku. This group has a few bonus haiku from everyones favorite literary Yinzteamer, Dawn Papuga.
Hey dude, are we lost?Damnit man! We're not lost, just
Not sure where we are
Not sure where we are
"How about now, Dad?"
NO STOPPING FOR DIRECTIONS!
"....Mom never gets lost..."
I'm a gentlemanI'm a cock of some breeding
Buh-KAA! Distinguished.
I don't *cluck,* Mossieur...
My daybreak alarum sounds
of silver trumpets.
Waited a lifetimefor you to come and save me
Please come and save me
I can see me now
Inside out transformation
It wasn't for you.
Ive been here beforeand I will be here again
Damn time-space bullshit
There's something creepy
'Bout a room you can't stay in
Even when you want
What? What do you want?Even deranged mercs need some
sweet marshmallow time
No, im not happyI have to free this city
but who will free me
I'm a lizard manBut it doesn't bother me
Work with what you are
I hate.... Wait a secYou aren't even a robot
Paper manifold!
Whats with your back, man?I mean, yeah your imposing
But damn man, that's gross
Miss Irene AdlerTo Sherlock she was always
The only woman
Kitty has new toyChristmas was good to kitty
Feed her when she wants
Theres blood on the iceand the mustache is enraged
One less hockey mans
In brightest day, inBlackest night, No evil shall
escape my sight. Bitch.
I was made for thisFor this destiny, this war.
It will end with me.
Do you see that thing?Beautiful, but I'm worried.
It just might end us.
Well aren't you fancyDon't trip you metal douche bag
With your big tall self
Ray, listen to me.When someone asks you if you're
A god, you say "YES"!
I havent been hereAt least not for a while.
These memories burn.
Please, cover its face.Her time is short. Its over.
Time to say goodnight.
Scuse me, Mistah JUm, I was just wonderin
A little smooch huh?
-or-
Ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha-O, um. Hi Harl.
Um, this is awkward.
Battered and beatenMs. Hudson makes great tea
My mind languishes
-or-
Violence returns
Back upon the violent.
And the schemer falls
-or-
One important thing
Has happened the last three days
And that is nothing
Welcome to my homeI haven't been here in years
I'm glad to be back
Good work, Mister StarkCaptain America: Dead.
The world: Overrun
You failed big this time.
Thor is back. He hates you.
Good work Iron Man.
I'm Saint NicholasSouth pole isn't big enough
I'm out conquring
What the? What happened?Robots? Avenger robots?
My hate is epic
My hate is epic
GIANT CRAB! O MAN!I don't even like seafood!
Jesus that things huge!
-or-
They had had enough.
It was a time for revenge.
The Red Lobster wars
I know where she isHiding there in the shadows
Waiting, rocking out.
Gotta go Spidey.You're a hero and that's great
But get the fuck out.
-or-
Man, This is awesome.
Spidermans helping me move
HEY! Get back to work!
Ohai! How are you?It's ok, we are ok.
We're friends. We get by.
I remember youIt tugs at something deep inside
Echoing whats lost
Yes! I shall have thee!My lack of thumbs is nothing!
Felis eduro!
It's quiet up hereThis cacophony of noise
Cannot touch me here
Me likes rasp berriesTheys sweet on my tounguhlies
Nom nom nom nom nom
Everyone hustlesEveryone has thier dutys
Death is no different
-or-
Even Sith must work
Sith children get grounded too
No force! Mow the lawn.
To stand there with youIt's a simple thing to want
Where's my umbrella?