Subway: The Wal-mart of Food  

Posted by Will Rutherford in

Consider with me, for a moment, the sales Super Giant Wal-Mart. The argument is always, "They are too big, there’s too many of them, they drive the mom and pop stores out of business, they have a huge selection, but who gives a fuck? Their EVIL!" Let’s modify this a little and see where it falls, shall we? Remove the too big, make too many of them into WAY too many of them, keep the drive mom and pops out of business, take huge selection and make it little to no selection and absolutely keep the EVIL and what do we have here? Subway.

They are everywhere, offering "fresh" ingredients and "hearty" sandwiches, all the while they are running good, home grown mom and pop delis (something that is both delicious and heavenly) out of business. Now, in the case of Wal-Mart, they have selection on their side. Subway, on the other hand, SEVERELY lacks in the selection department. 3 or 4 kinds of meant and cheeses, 8 different kinds of rock hard, assbread and 4 or 5 rancid salad dressings do not a deli make. Also, I am not interested in your brown, limp lettuce with the flies landing on it every 7 or 10 seconds.

And yet they thrive! Because they’re everywhere. They try and become a "brand name that you can trust" so people will think, "Well I don’t have to risk going into the corner deli that i've never been to." But here’s the catch: 9 times out of 10, the corner deli is 1000 times better and healthier than Subway. The risk/reward payoff is so much larger at the corner deli. There is no heart in the food at subway, no interest in the fact that the sandwich may or may not suck. If I wanted some 14 year old gang banger spitting in my food, I would go to jail, or to McDonalds.

In short, fuck Subway. There are SO many other, high quality, delicious and non evil deli joints, corner stores and dive, greasy spoons in the world. Take the risk, its not so risky.

Fuck you Subway,
Jared is ok,


*You may notice that every time the word deli appears it has a link, each one is a link to local Pittsburgh restaurants, mainly delis, for you to check out if you’re in town. Enjoy.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 9, 2008 at 9:44 AM and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .


I'm a sub/hoagie/grinder freak. I will drive completely out of my way for a good meal.

That said, fuck subway is right. I used to love the place but now it's over saturated (we have 3-4 within a mile radius in cranberry), the workers are disgusting and clueless, the ingredients are rarely fresh and you feel like part of a machine ordering.

I was growing fond of Quizno's but even that is to freakin snobbish now. If you don't know the system you're shunned.

Hands down the best ones I ever had are from the County Fair's in Erie. Fluffy bread, fresh ingredients, they're generous with toppings and they're twice as thick as any of the chains.

Locally no one beats the baked cold cut from Red Onion in Bethel Park (by the Warehouse, another fav of mine). I've driven from Cranberry just to get one.

July 9, 2008 at 11:38 AM

Don't forget Fredo's in Dormont. Our one videographer/safety guy hits it everytime he's in the office. So much so I'm sick of it (only for frequency and I'm tired of ESPN on the lunch break).

I'm a fan of subway. It's something you CAN find anywhere and know you're doing better than McD's. And it's price and accessibility that keeps me coming back.

Spoon: Country Fair was ok for the longest time, but something happened to their quality back in Greenville, at least. Blimpies used to be around from AIP and I loved it. Fluffy bread, etc like you said of CF. There's one now in a gas station back home that sorely fails in comparison.

Then their's Sheetz...

July 9, 2008 at 4:37 PM

Go meat!

July 10, 2008 at 12:19 PM

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